I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
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