I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
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