If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
Randomize
