Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
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