so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
Randomize
