I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
You're like the curious george of whores
what is it with giant penises always finding me
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
