Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
I need to sanitize my soul.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Sex in the backyard? Check.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Randomize
