oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
