I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Randomize
