i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
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