so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
Randomize
