So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
Randomize
