so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
