I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
This is classic penis vs brain.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Randomize
