addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
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