Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
Randomize
