Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
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