I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
