i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
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