You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
