forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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