Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize