p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
