I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
