and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
Randomize