my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
