The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
