hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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