He disabled his match.com account in front of me
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize