we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
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