Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
Randomize
