i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
