I'm lost and stupid without you.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Randomize