you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
