the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
So gin and wine won't be happening again
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Randomize
