Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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