So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
