I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
Randomize
