Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Randomize
