Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Randomize