Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
