is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize
