About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Randomize
