Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
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