Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
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