BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
She bit a glass in half.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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