hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
It's Friday. Sex?
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
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