So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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