I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
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