am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
