There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
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