I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
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