You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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