I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
Why did my mother make you get naked?
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Randomize
