two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
