I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
i out mim tonsoeep
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
