Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Randomize
