Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
Lo siento on account of my penis...
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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