i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
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