fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Randomize
