I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
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