i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
