We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
