I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Randomize